hus-bear. I hate that word. What's wrong with calling it husband? At one of the places I worked I had a gay boss and she used to refer to her partner as her wife (and wifey), so if a gay woman can call her partner a wife, why can't a gay guy call his partner a husband?
In a gay male relationship, if one guy takes on the role of the man & the other is the woman why don't they call each other husband & wife?"Same with lesbians?
I had a gay college professor who referred to his partner as his "husband," and ihe gave the impression that he considered himself the "wife" in the relationship. I got the impression this was mostly because he was a part-time lecturer making a paltry income while his "husband" was a successful lawyer. But he said this somewhat tongue-in-cheek.
I've known many gay couples - male and female, and as often as not, their respective roles are equal, and not particularly obvious - either to their friends, and even to themselves. What's the matter with husband/husband for gay men; and wife/wife for lesbians?
Most of the gay couples I know that is exactly what they do. Two guys..both are considered "husband", two lesbians both are consider "wife". The only exception to this is I can think of is with gay men within the gay bear community who call their partners their "hus-bear" or among the younger so-called bears "hus-cub". Sounds weird but then again it seems the entire bear segment of the gay community is ..well different anyway. The "bears" have their own pride flag, their own pride events, their own vacation spots, their own businesses ( yes there are actually gay owned businesses that cater strictly for bears ), many call their homes a "bear den", the bears have their own version of the magazine The Advocate ( "A Bears Life" ) heck they even "adopted" their own "bear city" and its not San Francisco but rather its Columbus, Ohio ( though others seem to think its either Denver or Indianapolis ). Why Columbus, I don't know but maybe it has to do with the now defunct Big Bear Supermarket Chain that was based in that city since I believe in their old ads much of the bear lingo that is currently being used now like "hus-bear", "bear soup" ( a bear party ), "bear hug" and so forth were used only to have those same terms years later being adopted by the gay bear community as their own.
My brother is gay and he is into the bear scene and yes he often calls his partner of 17 years his "hus-bear" even though for the rest of us in the family we consider his partner, well just that. His partner. Yes it does seem very weird and I believe the media sees it that way too. The film "Chuck & Larry" that came out last year could have been full of "bear references" since after all Adam Sandler and Kevin James could have easily passed themselves off as a bear couple in the movie, but the term "bear" wasn't used at all in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry". Maybe Hollywood believes that had they used the term in the film it would cause some sort of backlash or whatever. I don't know.