A male prostitute alleges that he had a three-year relationship with prominent right-wing evangelical leader Ted Haggard, who has said that homosexuality is a “sin” and “devastating for the children of our nation and for the future of Western civilization.” Haggard denies the allegation.
Game plan for Haggard. Two choices, based on recent political history.
1. Resign from church. Admit gay, blame alcohol, enter rehab. Send surrogate to issue statement, admit being molested by Catholic priest. Write book.
2. Say that anyone who would believe these allegations, and not that the President got us stuck in Iraq, is crazy. Call those who agree with the allegations despicable and liars who never served in uniform. Say that naughty bits in other naughty places was simply a botched joke about the President. Deal with backlash of statement. Issue non-apology apology for "any offense taken" by the male prostitute to the words or actions muttered on those sensual nights playing with naughty bits. Hide from sight for remainder of week. Have surrogates say that "Haggard is not on the ballot".
Either one will work to get the media off your back, apparently.